Leading Parallel Lives: Are A Mother & Daughter Really Walking on Different Paths?

LEAVE A COMMENT 2014 December 3

 

FOF Diane Danvers Simmons helps women embrace new chapters in their lives by using three guiding principles: Own your Power, Feel your Spirit, & Live your Life the way you choose, with Wit and Wisdom. She wrote this essay four years ago, upon realizing that she and her 17-year-old daughter weren’t traveling on paths quite so different as we generally think.

She’s in the last stage of puberty; I’m menopausal.
She’s experiencing the throes of first love;
I’ve been thrown by love. She’s finding herself; I’m rediscovering myself. Two perspectives, one special relationship, and, to top it all, she’s stealing my
clothes, shoes, and jewelry.

The differences and similarities are uncanny, and more than enough to test any good woman on either end of the spectrum. While she’s bent over in pain, hugging a hot water bottle and sobbing over her cracked baby eggcup, I’m pulling off my clothes, stepping into a cold shower and weeping over the heel she just broke on my new red stilettos.

Tissues, self-help books, exercise, journals, chick flicks, wine and chocolate are all imperative at this time for both of us, and that’s just the starter kit. Round two: meditation and yoga, both of us lying on our backs with our legs in the air, to get the blood back into our brains, calm the nerves, and give us a whole new perspective on any situation. A cup of tea helps to seal the euphoric moment.

Both of us are coping with a set of new dynamics as women. I’ve had to own up to my choices, respect that she’s becoming a young woman, and she’s now more than just my daughter. She’s learning to respect me as a woman with feelings, desires and dreams, too. Both of us are stepping into uncharted territory, even if my stilettos are more worn out than hers!

She looks to the stars and thinks, “The world is my oyster.” Meanwhile, I’m thinking, ‘Enough of the oyster, now where’s the damn pearl?’ The truth is, I have a treasure chest of pearls, glistening with wisdom, many of which I will pass on to her. But the true beauty of living life now lies in the fact that there are so many more pearls waiting for both of us to discover!

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Meet Coach Jeanet Lamoca

LEAVE A COMMENT 2014 April 25

Jeanet Lamoca

Tell us about your background.

I was born and raised in the Greater Toronto Area, Canada, the daughter of a German mother and Spanish father, who came to Canada in the early 60’s. I grew up in a family with a mix of cultures, traditions, rituals and language. Diversity and transition were foundational elements in my life from an early age.

I have over 25 years experience in the human services industry in various positions, including vocational rehabilitation counseling, mediation & arbitration and leadership development.

I work with the Strategic Capability Network (SCN) to deliver monthly programs to senior leaders and HR professionals.

As a public service, I facilitate workshops at the Aphasia Institute to help victims of strokes, and their families, to understand aphasia and give them strategies to communicate in new ways and make meaningful connections with those around them.

I hold a BA in Psychology, Organizational Career Development and graduated from the Rotman School of Management Executive Program. I am a Certified Co-active Coach Practitioner, Associate Certified Coach with International Coach Federation and a member of ICF International and Toronto chapter.

What brought you to coaching?

After working with a company for over 23 years, I was let go due to a series of organizational changes. During that ‘divorce’ I found myself off the island, alone and in a sea of ambiguity, questions and possibilities.

I remember saying to my husband, ‘I have been released, I don’t know what’s going to happen next, but I do know it’s a gift.’

During a year long sabbatical I worked with a coach and uncovered my own passion for coaching. The Coaches Training Institute (CTI) had the structure, process, framework and rigor that I believed would prepare me well for this profession. Now I have my own coaching practice, SageSeason, Your Best Season, providing coaching services to people in transition.

Are there any particular life experiences which inform your coaching?

Although my job was over after 23 years, my career wasn’t. I also realized that for others in this position, their career is over and they want a job. Every end is the beginning of a BEGINNING and that end needs to be honored. Learning what to hold on to and what to let go of to transition takes time to understand, balance and to do.

Jim Rohn said: ‘If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.’ I really get that. Transitions are tough, ambiguous, wobbly and uncomfortable, and exciting, fresh, full of opportunities and freedom. It’s truly a process that is unique to every individual.

What is your mission as a coach?

Coaching helps push us out of our comfort zones to deepen our learning capabilities, it holds us accountable to use skills gained, gives objective feedback, a listening ear, a place to brainstorm while introducing new resources.

Highly successful people know that if they expect much better results, they must be committed to grow, learn, re-focus and begin to do things differently. I believe everyone needs to have the opportunity to partner with someone when they need to think something through, make tough decisions, get unstuck, change perspective and learn to listen to themselves.

My mission for each of my clients is to help them have ah-ha moments; to move through an uncomfortable transition stage; to discover themselves and be excited and feel connected and whole; to find out what they really want and to make better and smarter decisions and take action to reach their goals.

What kind of client do you most enjoy working with?

I most enjoy working with clients who are willing to roll up their sleeves and explore their situation, challenge themselves, get out of their own way and Go For It. My clients are 45 plus and senior in their profession. They are considering a change, or in transition and wanting to focus on themselves, to be their own priority, and figure out what they want.

Do you offer workshops?

I have a series of workshops that focus on career, leadership and life transitions:

  • Career Transition — Going from Here to There
  • Strengths First — Knowing your Strengths and Leveraging Them
  • Sage Season, Your Best Season — Having the life you want and planning it

Where and how often do you meet with your clients?

I offer complimentary initial consultations to assess how we’ll work together and partner in a way that will get you where you want to go. I coach by phone or by Skype and suggest a biweekly schedule, although arrangements are flexible and negotiable. I recommend at least a three-month commitment, which gives the coaching relationship time to develop.

What is the most important thing a new client should know about you as their coach?

I bring energy, compassion and a sense of humanity to my work, creating a unique and inspiring process. I partner with my clients with a high level of engagement and commitment to bring about the change they want to have. For me, coaching is forward thinking, focused on ‘what and how.’ The process promotes clarity, certainty and action. And focuses on the “here and now” for YOU.

Meet Coach Carolyn Hidalgo

LEAVE A COMMENT 2014 April 14

Carolyn Hidalgo, CPCC

Tell us about your background.

As a teen, I loved reading Ann Landers’ advice column fascinated by how one person seemed to have the ‘right answer’ to solve life’s problems. I believed in a ‘right and wrong’ out there, but I was mistaken—the real answers are buried within us.

My parents, both physicians, taught me kindness, respect, and a secret to happiness: self-esteem. I became a Chartered Accountant, am happily married to a wonderful, fun-loving man, and we’re blessed with a son and twin girls. I thought I knew what love was, but something felt missing.

Until I began the self-discovery process through coaching, I wasn’t following my heart. I took a leap of faith changing careers to become a certified life coach/author. Today I absolutely love what I do (numbers didn’t excite me). Turned out being true to your self MATTERS.

What brought you to coaching?

10 years ago, a friend asked me to join a life-coaching group. I was in the exhausted, ‘no-time-for-myself’ stage of early motherhood, but was intrigued by the idea of getting together to ‘talk about life.’ I began to understand what it meant to live authentically—no more settling for the status quo. Choices suddenly became available I couldn’t see before. My sense of happiness grew to a deeper spiritual connection, purpose, and emotional fulfillment in all areas of my life.

Are there any particular life experiences that inform your coaching?

Absolutely. As I began to trust my inner voice, above anyone’s ideals of what I should do or think, I found myself in conflict and disconnecting with some of the closest people in my life. It was the most painful time learning how to let go, and the most transformational because it taught me the way I could stand up for what mattered to me without making anyone ‘wrong.’ It changed the depth of my connections as I began attracting like-minded people where I could just BE ME—a profound feeling of freedom!

My parents, both physicians, taught me kindness, respect, and the secret to happiness: Healthy self-esteem.

What is your mission as a coach?

I envision a world filled with authentic relationships, where people no longer criticize or judge anyone, including themselves. It’s a space you can create to live true to your highest well-being. You get to make mistakes without blaming yourself or others, and let go of unnecessary stress, guilt, shame, and conflict.

Criticism and judgment stem from what I call ‘the 4 Cs’:

  • Correcting others we see as broken thinking we need to ‘fix’.
  • Convincing others our ideas are ‘right’ for them.
  • Controlling others by imposing our ‘right’ way on them through forceful means.
  • Condemning others and seeing ourselves as superior.

By shifting our energy away from the 4 C’s when differences arise, and towards sharing, teaching, guiding, and modeling from a place of self-compassion, we can become the change. It requires being curious and open to ‘what is’ without a need to ‘be right, and make someone wrong’ taking full responsibility for your own choices.

What kind of client do you most enjoy working with?

I work best with “left-brain professional” types—mostly health/business field, and “career” moms juggling work/life balance. My clients are knowledgeable, seeking something more, struggling to create meaningful quality time, or want to take their relationships to new levels of intimacy. I resonate strongly with those who have faith or open to higher Universal Consciousness as I believe the most powerful transformation comes from a spiritual foundation of who we really are.

Tell us about your workshops and presentations.

I focus on living true to your self, finding forgiveness, letting go of guilt, and love without conditions (being judgment-free.) I want clients to experience more depth, and laughter in their relationships, ultimately experience the highest level of ‘soul love’ I believe we all deserve.

Where and how often do you meet with your clients?

I do an initial free call to determine if I am the right fit for what a client needs. All sessions are via phone or skype. My program is initially four months, with 8 bi-weekly sessions, and can be customized going forward. I do weekly email check-ins, provide session summaries, give ‘homework’ with accountability, and necessary access to me throughout the program. For specific issues, I offer coaching consults that are minimum 4 hours.

What is the most important thing a new client should know about you as their coach?

Trust. I am deeply committed to clients creating the life they truly desire without any judgment. I help clients awaken to their spiritually authentic nature, let go of what’s draining them, discover new possibilities, what’s holding them back, and provide tools, and resources to help them “become, and do” what is calling within.

Meet Coach Gabriella Rattner

LEAVE A COMMENT 2014 January 17

Gabriella Rattner

What brought you to life coaching?

I’ve been married for 42 years and have two amazing adult daughters, one a teacher and the other a social worker. Being in a long-term relationship has taught me many things about behavior, responses, reactions and what drives us and if that driver is in our best interest.

I’ve worked in healthcare administration for over 30 years. Throughout my career I’ve had the opportunity to be a ‘safe space’ for people to share their thoughts and become more aware of their habits and what motivates them. My dream was to find a way to take these special sessions and create a coaching opportunity.

I will celebrate your courage and strength. I will never judge you and we will work together towards you not judging you either.

Dreaming, however, wasn’t going to get me to act and live my best life. It wasn’t until I started working with my own life coach, in 2009, that I discovered I really could create the life I always wanted.

My coach offered me a safe, honest and encouraging space in which to have unchartered conversations and to go deep and work with my fears about change and possibilities. Having someone really listen to me and hear the things I could not myself distinguish fueled me ahead. The fulfillment, balance and empowerment most of us crave are attainable. As a Certified Life Coach I can offer this same safe, honest and encouraging space for you to design the life you want to live and to enjoy it.

Live the life you love. I welcome you to www.lifecoachingwithgabriella.com.

Where and how often do you meet with your clients?

Almost all of my coaching is done via phone. My clients and I generally speak for two to three 45-50 minute sessions each month. Within that relationship I also send questions to ponder and am available via email to respond to any questions a client may have. I offer a complimentary, 30-minute introductory session to explore whether we can have a successful partnership.

What is the most important thing a client should know about you?

That I am totally invested in and honor you and your journey. I may never meet you in person, but when you invite me to work with you I take that very seriously and will support and guide you with all that I know and all that I am. I will always remind you of your amazingness and our work will include opportunities to try new approaches, behavior and actions. I will celebrate your courage and strength. I will never judge you and we will work together towards you not judging you either. I am really excited and looking forward to connecting with you and working together.

Meet Coach Sherry Matheson

LEAVE A COMMENT 2014 January 9

Sherry Matheson

Age: 46

Tell us about your background.

I am 46 years young, married with a blended family of five girls and one boy, and two dogs. I worked for 17 years as a corporate paralegal at various mid size law firms and then in the legal department at a large corporation. Before becoming a corporate paralegal I worked in the oil and gas industry for 6 years.

Why did you decide to leave your profession and become a coach?

I was working until 11:30 at night and weekends at the big corporation and I burned myself out after three years. I didn’t have the right skills and tools to be in that environment and developed shingles on the backs of my knees to the point where I was sitting in my doctor’s office and she was handing me a prescription for anti-depressants and wanting me to take a leave of absence. I decided I needed to quit my job in order to heal and get better. We are a blended family with six kids and it wasn’t an easy decision.

I accidentally discovered coaching after I quit working as a paralegal and started my training five months later with the Coaches Training Institute at the University of Calgary.

We often put everyone else first. It’s the ‘nice girl syndrome.’

My coaching style has a big focus on positive psychology, so if beating yourself up isn’t working for you and you’re not feeling empowered, I can help.

Explain your approach to health and wellness coaching.

I take a comprehensive approach to health and wellness by looking at how all the areas of your life are connected to your wellbeing. I like to open up the realm of positive possibilities for others. I feel my journey prepared me well to understand and emphasize with my clients and makes me a better coach.

I create action plans to help my clients make the sustainable changes necessary to improve their health and live better quality lives. We tackle issues such as managing stress, increasing energy, achieving more balance, sleeping better, eating healthier, getting into more movement, achieving and maintaining an ideal weight, reducing food cravings, improving self perception, improving relationships, increasing productivity, and enhancing decision making.

Health and wellness coaching combines psychology, behavioral change theory and life coaching. The field is on a swift positive trajectory due to the evidence demonstrating its role in improved client/patient outcomes, medical compliance, employee health and productivity, and lower health care costs. Health and wellness coaching effectively bridges the gap between traditional, organized healthcare and behavioral change.

How do women most sabotage themselves?

We often put everyone else first. It’s the ‘nice girl syndrome.’ My coaching style has a big focus on positive psychology, so if beating yourself up isn’t working for you and you’re not feeling empowered, I can help.

I’d like to share a testimonial from one client, who wrote: ‘I’m never usually at a loss for words, but I find myself hesitating to express my gratitude because words alone can’t convey my emotions. What I originally thought was going to be a simple plan for weight loss and exercise, to my surprise and delight turned into a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, of which you were the catalyst. From our first coaching session you had the wisdom and listening skills to pinpoint my needs. The information you forwarded to assist me in working on my goals was invaluable. You will forever hold a place in my heart as the person who helped introduce me to a better version of myself.” —Sharon, Ontario

Why is your company called “Ingredients For A Healthy Lifestyle?”

Each client is unique and so are her ingredients to create a healthy lifestyle. What roles do eating, exercise, work, family, etc. play in her life and how can she balance them to achieve her goals?

Where and how often do you meet with clients?

I coach the majority of my clients over the phone so they can be located anywhere. Our calls are 50 minutes long, twice a month, and we have unlimited email contact.

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Meet Coach Rosanne Leslie

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 September 30

Rosanne Leslie

Age: 52

Are you married?

I’ve been divorced for 12 years. I was married for 13 years and have three children. My marriage taught me what love is and, most importantly, what love is not. Raising my three children alone showed me how our society views single women and mothers and gave me the freedom to stand autonomously outside of that paradigm. Recognizing the dysfunctional dynamics of my marriage I was able to (slowly) extricate myself from it.

What did your parents do?

My father was an engineer for an international company and my mother was a stay-at-home mom.

Why did you become a coach?

I became a life-coach as a result of coaching myself through several years of single parenting. I discovered some of the perennial answers to questions I believe we all have when faced with life challenges and changes. Who Am I? What is love? Why am I here? What is my purpose? How can I be happy?

Happiness is found at our core and so long as we have hope and dreams we can find joy in any day.

What kind of Fab over Fifty women can most benefit from your coaching?

Any woman can benefit from coaching if she is ready to make a change and is earnest. However, the woman who will most benefit from my style of coaching is one who would like to redefine herself and still believes that she has dreams left in her and that she possesses the power to make them come true. I work a great deal with women who have teen-aged children and parenting challenges. One of my greatest strengths is guiding women through the process of divorce, especially those involving domestic violence issues. These women have special needs and because I lived this kind of marriage, I understand them. My empathy and compassion runs very deep for them.

What is your mission?

My mission is manifold. We all suffer and complain too much. There is a certain camaraderie and “acceptance” in the conversations between women in their complaining and suffering and I would like to show them that they can be happy now, in this very moment. Happiness is not contingent upon anyone’s external world or life circumstances. Happiness is found at our core and so long as we have hope and dreams we can find joy in any day. My mission is to guide individuals to autonomy in a society that does not readily embrace that. My greatest mission is to show women how to love and be loved and to celebrate their femininity as a gift and not a weapon against men or themselves.

Tell us about your typical client.

I don’t have a typical client. Everyone is different and comes to me when they are either excited about changing their lives and careers or they are devastated and traumatized and don’t know where or how to begin their day.

What is the greatest piece of advice you can give women?

To recognize that they are alive and what alive really means. The pulse of our society and the world is extremely fast and prevents many from understanding and feeling that they are “here” and that being “here” is precious and a gift.

What woman do you admire most?

I don’t have a particular woman I admire. Perhaps it is she, the silent and nameless one, unrecognizable in the crowd and the world, that I admire most. She is not famous or rich by society’s standard, but she knows how to give and love selflessly. She silently struggles every day to get by and has boundless compassion, integrity and humility. I think she is in every woman. She is my hero and I look for her, every day.

What is your favorite quote?

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.”–Albert Einstein.