Meet Coaches Analisa & Jeffrey Rutstein

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 October 18

Analisa & Jeffrey Rutstein

Age: Between the two of us, we’re 97 years young. And we both feel fabulous! (Imagine big grin with a wink!)

Are or have you been married, and what’s your view on marriage?

AnaLisa: We were both previously divorced and have been together for 14 years. Marriage with the right person can be a wonderful experience, while marriage to the wrong person can be a lesson and an opportunity for growth and healing, even if that includes leaving the other person.

We believe that relationships can be the most important catalysts for growth and maturity, and that learning to deepen love and compassion for one’s self and for your partner is one of the many riches to be reaped in a long-term committed relationship.

Kids?

AnaLisa: Jeffrey’s two children from his previous marriage are blessings to us in many different ways. While step parenting can present many challenges, and life with children can become stressful, there is joy of seeing them develop and grow into passionate, caring adults and set off into the world on their own.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

AnaLisa: I was born in Brooklyn, NY and grew up in Marlboro, NJ. My father was an entrepreneur who owned several businesses, and my mother is a writer and active in community affairs.

Jeffrey: I was born in Washington, DC and grew up in Silver Spring, MD. My father was a dentist, and my mother was a social worker.

What did you do before The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss?

Jeffrey: I have been a Clinical Psychologist for over 33 years and AnaLisa, who has an MA in psychology, has been working with women as a health coach and body therapist, helping women heal their relationships with food, their bodies, weight, and their lives.

Why and what inspired you to create The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss?

Jeffrey: It was a confluence of many things. AnaLisa had struggled with weight for the majority of her life, trying every diet and weight loss plan under the sun and in the process gaining and losing hundreds of pounds.

AnaLisa: More than 8 years ago I weighed 226 pounds and was miserable. I hated my body and was frustrated, ashamed, and sick and tired of a lifetime of gaining and losing the same 30 pounds. My health also was suffering. I had tried every diet and weight-loss plan around, many more than once, and had consulted world-class therapists, specialists, and participated in numerous programs, all to no avail.

I really felt how struggling only produces more struggling; the harder you try, the harder you keep trying. And often you keep getting into the same traps, over and over again.

Struggling only creates and maintains the problem. The key was to stop the cycle, to stop the struggle.

One night I finally hit rock bottom. After eating two pizzas, two pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and a large bag of Cheese Doodles, I started feeling very sick. Sitting on my couch, I burst into tears. They weren’t quiet tears. I was wailing! And I heard myself saying out loud, ‘I just can’t do this anymore! I feel like I am going to burst! I can’t continue living this way! Something has to change!’

I felt like dying. I was so hopeless and so sick of myself and of my struggle with food and weight. I felt like I was broken. Food could no longer numb me. Somewhere, somehow I felt that there must be more to life than this.

Just then, my Jeffrey came in and found me in a puddle on the couch, sobbing and covered in Cheese Doodle crumbs. He had just returned from leading an all-day mindfulness meditation retreat and showed me a Chinese Finger puzzle he had received that day. It was the kind that became tighter around your fingers the more you struggled to remove it.

As I played with the toy something clicked in me. I really felt how struggling only produces more struggling; the harder you try, the harder you keep trying. And often you keep getting into the same traps, over and over again. Struggling only creates and maintains the problem.

The key was to stop the cycle, to stop the struggle.

When I finally relaxed and exerted less effort, I finally got free of the finger puzzle and that changed how I saw everything.

Jeffrey and I talked for hours that night, and for days and weeks after that about finding a way that works, because up until then, nothing had. Our weeks and months of exploration and experimentation evolved into what is now known as “The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss” and “True Food Technology™”.

What is the mission of The Effort Less Method™ for Lasting Weight Loss?

Jeffrey: We help women finally lose the weight and keep it off without struggle or deprivation, so they can have the energy, confidence and health to live the life for which they long. We want to help transform the way women lose weight, but also help them end the struggle and internal war that they wage against excess weight, which causes unnecessary suffering.

Tell us about your Workshops?.

Jeffrey: We do on-line and in-person groups, and also do in-person group weekend events—all aimed at helping women become empowered to gain the body and life they have been craving, while letting go of struggle, deprivation, and denial. Our work is a fun mixture of teaching, discussion, and experiential exercises, which lay the foundation for personal growth and transformation of your relationship to food, your body, your weight, and your life. We often say, ‘how you do one thing, is how you do all things.’ How you struggle with your weight, your self-esteem, and your body, mirrors how you relate to and struggle with your life.

AnaLisa: Women who want to lose weight usually feel they carry excess burdens and responsibilities. They are unhappy with their figures and with their lives and how they live them. They might even put their lives on hold until they lose the weight, have the body they love, or are comfortable being nude. However, they can wait a lifetime for such conditions to arise. We emphasize how they can change their lives and bodies NOW, so the pounds melt away and the physical and emotional weight and stress that they are carrying can be transformed and released.

What kind of FabOverFifty woman can most benefit from your coaching?

Jeffrey: Any woman who has ever struggled with weight loss, who has lost and regained weight, and is ready to finally release the weight for good. This is not a quick fix, but the results will impact the rest of your life. This is not a meal plan, or “diet”, but a total approach to eating, to food, to your body, and your life.

What’s the greatest piece of advice you can give FOF women?

AnaLisa: It is not your fault! Too often women are made to feel that it is their fault; that they don’t eat right, live right, work right, or do relationships right. However we are doing things, we are doing the best we can with the resources we possess in a particular moment and situation. Every problem, obstacle, life transition, or stressful situation holds a hidden gem of a message that can help us learn, grow, evolve, and mature toward a life that is healed, happy, and fulfilling.

What famous women do you most admire?

AnaLisa: One is Maya Angelou, the poet, playwright, actor, author, educator, producer, director and civil rights activist. She has been no stranger to pain and hardship, and yet her spirit burns so bright. Her poetry is capable of capturing the depths of despair and leads us to soar in the heights of love, connection, purpose, redemption, and healing. She is a shining light.

Another is Debbie Ford, who passed away this year. She was a best-selling author and teacher known for her work in helping people break free of their emotional baggage and fears. She successfully triumphed over her own dark struggles with addiction and embodied a path of healing and transformation, which unites head and heart, mind and soul in simple yet profound teachings. She taught people how to live beyond the limitations of their old beliefs and behaviors, and how to embrace and integrate their whole selves. Her light will be missed.

Do you have a mentor?

Jeffrey: We have many and each has been a gift and a blessing. To mention a few: Marc David, founder of The Institute of the Psychology of Eating; Melissa Grace and Phil DelPrince, Hakomi Method trainers and therapists extraordinaire who taught us the profound power of working with the body to heal the mind; Barbara Ganim, cofounder and coordinator of the Expressive Arts Institute at Salve Regnia University, who introduced us to the world of expressive arts and its use as a healing and transformative modality.

Meet Coach Wendy Martens

LEAVE A COMMENT 2013 August 22

Wendy Martens

Age: 64

Are you married?

I’ve been divorced for 13 years, but was married for 30. We married too young and the marriage, which had many cracks, just crumbled when our oldest son died in 1998.

Kids?

I have two, one 33 and the other 36. My oldest would have been 38.

Where did you grow up and what did your parents do?

I grew up all over the US until I was 11, since my dad was in the Air Force. Then we settled in Bethesda, MD and my dad became VP of Marketing for Hughes Aircraft Co. My mom was a stay-at-home mom and loved to help my father’s career by entertaining beautifully.

What did you do before becoming a coach?

My first career was as a stay-at-home mom, which I was fortunate to be able to do. When my children were in high school, I went to work part-time and then full-time as a surgical coordinator for four surgeons and three hospitals. When I turned 50, after my son died, I decided to go to George Washington University and get my masters in counseling. I became a grief counselor, but found I couldn’t support myself. A friend suggested a great part-time job, which became full-time, with the United States Investigative Service, where I got my clearance and was a profiler and analyst training students to go abroad. I loved the uniqueness of the job, but had a number of surgeries, which prevented me from fulfilling the physical requirements.

For far too long, we’ve been inundated by negative messages about food, weight and diet.

We’ve been told that we are willpower weaklings or that we need more control. The majority of nutrition experts promote conflicting advice.

Why a coach?

I became a coach after hearing my mother continually tell me that I was heavy, starting when I was very young. She actually took me to an illegal diet doctor where I was put on ‘speed’ at the age of seven. Interestingly enough, I have picture of me at that time and I wasn’t heavy at all, just a tomboy, but my mother wanted a princess! Thus started the life-long battle with my body and the weight-loss roller coaster.

After losing my job with USIS, I attended the Institute of Integrative Nutrition and then earned certification from the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. I changed my entire business and wanted to help women. Working with mind-body nutrition and the psychology of eating leads to not only sustainable weight loss, but also to a love of your body in the present and the ability to delete toxic dietary beliefs.

My clients become truly embodied and can address the stress that is affecting their weight, their lives and their health. It has changed my life and my thoughts about my body and I want to help others to obtain the same truth, because I’ve been there!

What makes the Psychology of Eating approach different from other Weight Loss coaching?

For far too long, we’ve been inundated by negative messages about food, weight and diet. We’ve been told that we are willpower weaklings or that we need more control. The majority of nutrition experts promote conflicting advice. This results in confusion about what to eat, and how to have a happy relationship with food, as well as a healthy metabolism. I combine many of the best strategies from nutrition science and eating psychology in my professional practice. By eliminating all the “shoulds and should nots,” I focus on what’s right for your body and your personal style. As I work with women in this way, eating and health issues become a place of exploration. Instead of seeing such challenges as the enemy, they become opportunities for growth and self-improvement. I’ve learned to help women reach their highest goals through strategies that nourish, not punish.

What kind of FabOverFifty woman can most benefit from coaching?

All women from the ages of 40 to 50! This is a sacred time in a woman’s life, after peri-menopause and menopause, when she is truly coming into her strength. Many women still believe they are inadequate, ‘not good enough’, and often are not happy with their bodies. They are suffering from stress and self-hatred and do not realize that this prevents weight loss and true happiness. Self-love and acceptance are far more rewarding than calorie counting and crazy exercise and it helps you lose weight!

What is your mission?

I want women to stand tall in their glorious strength, which they all possess. Women tend to feel that there is something wrong with them, whether it’s their weight, their relationships, or their work, and it’s time to stop the madness. I want to be a mentor for all women about self-embodiment and self-love. The truth comes from within, not without. It’s time that all women got the message that they’re beautiful.

Tell us about a typical client.

Most of my clients are women over 40 who want to lose weight, which is usually the 20 pounds + that they’ve been trying to lose for years. They have tried every diet in the book, exercised themselves to the point of pain and haven’t lost the weight. They don’t realize that this frantic need to lose weight throws them into the ‘stress response’ that is preventing them from losing anything. Their obsession with weight is ruining and limiting their lives since they are waiting to live until they achieve their goal, which never comes. I help them learn to live in the present and relax into weight loss.

What’s the greatest piece of advice you can give FOF women?

Your journey in this life is your own; it’s not anyone else’s. Make the journey going full tilt, learning from the messy as well as the great and love your uniqueness and yourself completely! Celebrate, don’t denigrate!

How do women most sabotage themselves?

They believe everything they hear in the media. They live in their minds and not their bodies. Their best friend should be the sacred Feminine, but instead it’s the scale, which determines how they’ll fell each day—happy or depressed!

What famous women do you most admire?

Rosa Parks is a woman that sat for her rights. Most said she stayed in her seat because she was tired, but instead she was tired of ‘giving in’ to what society told her she should or shouldn’t do. I think she’s a mentor for all women to stop this artificial feeling to ‘give in’ to a world that is trying to dictate what the perfect woman looks like.

Maya Angelou, a fighter from the start, has been able to provide a positive message of humanity and hope. She said: ‘The honorary duty of a human being is to love.’ And every women should apply this to herself.

Do you have a mentor?

I have a number of mentors in my life for which I feel blessed. My spiritual mentor, Liz, enables wonderful conversations on our connection to nature and all that there is on and off this earth. Another mentor, Marc, has helped me to realize the joy of embodiment and loving yourself. A third, Sharon, taught me that one doesn’t need to live her life in fear and that I can trust. Finally, Christine, who has taught me about the sacred Feminine and using intuition to understand and not judge.