One of my closest friends asked my advice on a very private matter. After much consideration, I gave her an answer. She listened and seemed content to hear me out. The problem is the phone is not ringing and she is not responding to me at all. What is she “saying”?
0 Answers
Denise A Wind wrote on :
She may simply be saying “the truth hurts.”
Valerie Clark wrote on :
She was considering her options. She recently contacted me with her decisions and though they may be life changing, I think they are positive moves for her. Thank you all for your support.
Marty Chiaravelotti wrote on :
First, let me say I’m sorry for your predicament. It has been my experience that often friends and family want advice, however, they want the advice they want to hear. Perhaps your friend was not as open to your honesty as you may think. It is a slippery slope, even when the friendship is long lived. What would you do if you knew your friend was struggling and you were confident that you were not the cause? Would you send flowers and a note “Thinking of You”? Perhaps if you think from that point of view, you may find a way to reach out. Wishing you all the best.
cjgolden wrote on :
What she is “saying” I suspect, is that she needs space for a while. Why she needs that space is, of course, difficult for you to decide. While you might suspect several different scenarios and reasons, the truth is that you won’t know for sure until you’ve been able to speak to her. You might also reflect upon the contact you have tried to have with her lately – perhaps it was too personal and pushing some buttons left over from your first conversation. You might give her the needed space for some time (how long ago was your advice offered to her?) and then send a quick email saying hi, hoping all is well. Keep it short, simple and off-topic.
I wish you well; you have been a caring friend and I know how much this silence must be hurting. If the friendship is strong it will weather whatever storm your friend is experiencing. Be patient with her.
Valerie Clark wrote on :
Thanks for the response. Yes, I think your right. I think she is taking the space she needs to make some important decisions. In retrospect, I do not think her silence has anything to do with me but for the problem itself.
Jeanna Hofmeister wrote on :
Better yet… a hand written note or card just reminding her that you’re thinking of her and being a stand for her. Hand written words from the heart hold more power than you know!
Jeanna Hofmeister wrote on :
The reality is… sometimes people who ask for advice:
a) don’t really want the advice, they just want to vent
b) have to have time to digest the advice because it might not have been what they hoped to hear
c) be embarrassed that they revealed such personal information.
I know it’s hard when you have weighed out the decision as to whether or not to even offer your opinion, but perhaps if you disagreed with your friend, she is not strong enough to handle your judgement of her. Not knowing the “Private” matter makes it difficult but not impossible to intuit there are many possible reasons she’s remaining silent.
Review your advice in your own mind. Did you make her wrong? Did you make her feel judged? Were you as supportive as you might have been? If you think on it, you might just find a way to crack back open that door to communication with her.
Good luck!
Valerie Clark wrote on :
Thanks for the response. No, I didn’t make her wrong nor did I judge her. I was also very supportive but I also went outside the box with my advice. I think she is deciding what to do and taking the space for that. Hopefully.